Entry 3

So today, nothing particularly happened to trigger me, but still, this evening i didn’t feel quite right. I didn’t feel ‘low’ but i did feel spaced out and very slow, i guess, for about 2 hours and then my mood dropped and i felt very upset and had to try very hard to not cry. As far as i can tell, nothing happened to make me feel this way, but nevertheless, i did. The problem with not always knowing how you feel is that you can’t tell other people how you feel and this can lead them to believe it is them doing something wrong, or that they have made you feel this way. Which, the majority of the time, isn’t true at all. Also, i have noticed that i have little spikes of panic and anxiety, every time my boyfriend mentions him going out drinking. These moments don’t usually last long if we continue talking about something else afterwards, or we are doing something else at the time that takes my attention away from it, but if nothing is really going on when that subject comes up, or i am feeling quite down, these ‘moments’ tend to last for longer than a moment and can drag on for quite some time.

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