Entry 16

So last night my boyfriend came over and spent the night. It was a good night. We ate,we cuddled, we watched Modern Family, we stayed up very late, he was introduced to the neighbours who came over. The night was quite successful overall. Then this morning we got up at about 12:00, and stayed in bed listening to music for a while. After eating, He was introduced to my sisters best friend who we are quite close with, then me, my boyfriend, my brother, my sister, and the best friend, we to drop off my boyfriend and then go and see an ice hockey match. On the way there, i was feeling very low because i knew my boyfriend was going home. I think it came across more angry though. Which is not exactly fair on the people around me at the time. When we eventually got to the arena, i had to say goodbye to my boyfriend. I cried. I felt devastated. All i wanted in that moment was to not have to let go. To be able to stand there and hold him tight forever. Of course i am aware that this is unreasonable, so i said goodbye, while trying to hold back the tears, and walked away. I then became quite angry. But thankfully, My brother and sister are very good with me and usually just leave me to it until i feel less emotional. So off we went to the game. Which i enjoyed for the most part. My sister got some bad news about an old friend, so i spent a lot of it looking after her and making sure she was okay. When we left the game, My boyfriend messaged me saying that i could go to his house to see him if i liked. I wanted nothing more than to agree. But i couldn’t stop thinking that he only offered to keep me happy, and not because he actually wanted to see me. So i declined the offer and came home. And then regretted my decision. And felt like shit. Like i knew i would.

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