Entry 19

Lately i have been struggling to describe how i have been feeling when people ask. But i think i have found the right word. Empty. It is like a hollow feeling, and i really hate it. I didn’t fall asleep until about 05:00 this morning and then got woken up at about 10:30 by my sister. Apart from small windows of time, i haven’t been feeling quite right all day. It is like i am just spending the day, waiting for it to be bedtime again. I went back to sleep at about 14:00, and slept until 18:00. I’m not sure if i keep sleeping through the day because i am tired, or because i just can’t be bothered with┬ábeing awake anymore. I haven’t eaten anything but a bit of cucumber today, which probably hasn’t helped with the mood. Last night, when i wasn’t feeling happy at all, i drew all over my arm. This really helped me get out of my head and feel more at peace with myself. So i feel like that is something i should try doing more often when i feel self destructive.

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