Entry 30

I got up at about 11:00 today. I got out of bed, cleaned my room, showered, and got dressed. That is more than i have done in the last few days. I then went to Tesco and pets at home with my mum which definitely made me feel good because i love to shop. It makes me feel so much better when i am feeling low. After shopping my mum took me to McDonald’s. She is trying to keep me busy so i don’t end up sleeping all day again. It worked today. I have had a pretty good day. I have finished buying all of my boyfriend’s Christmas presents. I only had one small episode today in which i was talking to my mum about money and i got pretty stressed and angry, so when she hung up, i threw my ceramic money pot really hard. It shattered everywhere leaving quite a big mess. But having to clean it all up gave me something to focus on which calmed me down a little. After that outburst i spent the rest of the night doodling and talking to my mum and sister. Overall it was a pretty successful day. Later on that night and into the early hours of the morning, i started to feel quite low and depressed and ended up crying and self-harming. In the end, after talking to my boyfriend, i felt much better. He does the right amount of asking how i am feeling and why i am feeling that way, and the right amount of distracting and letting me know that he loves me and supports me.

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