Entry 31

My sister slept in my bed last night and we both woke up at about 13:30 to my mum bringing us some toast to try and get us out of bed. We got up. When i went downstairs, me and my mum sorted out calling ESA to see about me claiming some money while i am not in work. This would really help me out for a little bit and should see me through until i start working again. So after that, i cleaned my room and that took me up until about 15:30. Then me and my mum and sister planned to go to Ikea. So at 16:30, we set off to Ikea. We spent ages in there shopping and it is usually my favourite place but i wasn’t in the right frame of mind, so even though i could have shopped and bought so many cool things, i could hardly be bothered to walk, never mind shop. I have been quite depressed lately. So after Ikea, we stopped off at my boyfriends house to drop off a Wii and some dinner for him. I found this really hard. Having to see him for only 5 minutes and then having to say goodbye. The whole way to his house i was very snappy and felt really sick. I felt really anxious. Then when i saw him and said hello, I was so close to crying. Then i ended up crying most of the way home. He did offer to let me stay over, but i looked terrible and didn’t feel like i would be great company because i had been feeling quite low. So i declined the offer. We texted all the way home and by the time i got home, i was feeling much better. We spoke all night and over all i had a good night and managed to keep my mood up. So i can safely say that talking to my boyfriend, telling him how i feel and why, and being near him and sending him funny messages makes me feel so much better. So i will tell him when i next feel emotional. Hopefully he will pull me out of the ‘hole’.

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